yut'  garyachu  vodu j
elektroenergiyu, a fakul'tetu znov urizayut' koshti na cej rik, i  sprava  z §§
doktoratom zatyagu¤t'sya. Otozh tvoyu istoriyu Donna bere - ne te shcho do sercya, a,
zda¤t'sya, vidrazu sobi do techki. Ledi j dzhentl'meni, ya prodovzhuyu.
     SHCHo-o?!  -  rvuchko  poda¤t'sya  napered  Donna,  azh  §§  pshenichni  patli,
zmetnuvshis', spadayut' u glibokij viriz svetra.
     YAk?! - oburyu¤t'sya  Donna, - yak  take  mozhe buti?  YAk uzagali mozhna  tak
povoditisya z zhivoyu zhinkoyu?!
     O, maj!  -  skrushno  hita¤  golovoyu  Donna,  z cilkom nepritamannoyu  §j
gospodarnistyu rozgladzhuyuchi dolonyami po stil'nici  nevidimu skatertinu: zhest,
shcho  vida¤  cilkovitu  rozgublenist', brak komentariv.  Ni,  vona takozh  mala
problemi z svo§m ostannim bojfrendom, ale shchob take!
     Sluhaj, -  kazhe  Donna, j  oblichchya §j vipogodzhu¤t'sya spoko¤m znajdenogo
rishennya:   looks  like   the  guy  is   severely   sick,   don't  you  think
so?<sup><a name="67a"></a><a href="#s67">67</a></sup>
     Korotkij kurs psihoanalizu, shlyah do dushevnogo zdorov'ya: znajti prichinu,
i problema znimet'sya sama soboyu. CHomu dosi nikomu ne spalo na  dumku, shcho  te
same mozhna  b proroblyati  j z  narodami:  propsihoanalizuvav garnen'ko  cilu
nacional'nu  istoriyu  - i popustit', yak rukoyu  znime.  Literatura  yak  forma
nacional'no§        terapi§.        A       shcho,        not       a       bad
idea<sup><a name="68a"></a><a href="#s68">68</a></sup>.  SHkoda,  shcho  v  nas,
vlasne, nema literaturi.
     YA til'ki  odnogo  ne rozumiyu,  -  osudlivo  kazhe  Donna:  tut  uzhe yavno
zachepleno pidvalini §§ svitoglyadu. - YA ne rozumiyu, chomu ti ce vse terpila? I
mean, v lizhkovi? CHomu vidrazu ne skazala: ni?
     Konceptual'nij pidhid: borot'ba zhinok za svo§ prava.
     SHCHo ya mozhu tobi na ce vidpovisti, Doncyu? SHCHo nas rostili muzhiki, objobani
yak-til'ki-mozhna z usih kinciv, shcho potim taki sami muzhiki nas trahali, i shcho v
oboh vipadkah voni robili z nami te, shcho inshi, chuzhi muzhiki zrobili z nimi?  I
shcho mi prijmali j lyubili §h takimi, yak voni ¤, bo ne prijnyati §h - oznachalo b
stati po storoni  tih, chuzhih? SHCHo ¤dinij nash vibir, otzhe, buv i zalisha¤t'sya -
mezhi zhertvoyu i katom: mizh nebuttyam i buttyam-yake-vbiva¤?
     Vkinuvshi  do smitt¤zbirni poslidki  lanchu -  plastikovi taci iz zuzhitim
paperovim nachinnyam,  kubkami  j tarilkami  v yaskravih  sousnih plyamah - soya,
ketchup,  girchicya,  slivovij  dzhem  (cinobra,  karmin,  vohra, umbra),  -  yak
dekorativni palitri z teatral'nogo  rekvizitu (misce persho§ di§  - majsternya
hudozhnika,     misce     drugo§     di§     -     kvartira     v     student
dorm<sup><a name="69a"></a><a href="#s69">69</a></sup>, tretyu  diyu skasovano
z tehnichnih  prichin, kvitki ne povertayut'sya, molitvi  ne  visluhovuyut'sya), -
voni proshkuyut' do  vihodu,  Donna  shtovha¤  sklyani  dveri,  korotkij  spalah
moroznogo  povitrya  radisno  zasliplyu¤  legeni,  kotyat'sya  avta,  prohodyat',
smiyuchis',  hlop'yaki v  sportivnih  kurtkah  z emblemoyu universitetu,  gorit'
ugori trivozhne, elektrichno-sin¤ nebo, i visokij,  shozhij na obkutanogo kocom
Leonardo  da Vinchi, v rozmayanih sivih kosmah zhebrak na rozi prostyaga¤ do nih
plastikovu chashku z-pid koka-koli,  pobryazkuyuchi  drib'yazkom:  "Help homeless,
ma'am!"                  -                   "I'm                   homeless
myself"<sup><a name="70a"></a><a href="#s70">70</a></sup>,    hita¤     vona
golovoyu: ne do n'ogo - v prostir.
     -  A  zna¤sh,  -  kazhe  raptom  Donna,  povertayuchis'  do  ne§, natyagayuchi
avtomobil'ni  rukavichki  j veselo zhuyuchi yakus' novu dumku, - vse-taki ci vashi
shidno¤vropejs'ki muzhchini, voni, pravda, buvayut' brutal'ni,  ale v nih bodaj
pristrast' ¤, a v nashih shcho?..

     ...I  divitimeshsya  v  ilyuminator,  yak  povztimut'  valizki  po  strichci
vantazhnogo konvej¤ra, abi zniknuti v  cherevi litaka, odna po odnij, i ot uzhe
-  plivuchij  pustij promizhok,  i negr-vantazhnik u  formenij kepci  z napisom
"USAir" vskochit' u chorne nutro furgonchika, i toj  rushit' z miscya, a  poki ti
provoditimesh jogo poglyadom, konvej¤r  priberut', natomist'  na siromu betoni
temnitime protalina pidsihayucho§ kalyuzhi: "Vse", - vidlunit' tobi v golovi, yak
zojk  u  porozhn'omu hrami, vse -  ce znachit', zadra¤no lyuki, zaraz  ozvet'sya
suhij trisk mikrofona, "Ledi j dzhentl'meni", - zamurkoche styuardesa, i  litak
zadvigtit', progrivayuchi motori, i  to vzhe bude insha dijsnist', inshe zhittya, a
girko skimlyachij bil' nespravdzhenosti doteperishn'ogo (qu'as tu fait, qu'as tu
fait    de   ta   vie?<sup><a name="71a"></a><a href="#s71">71</a></sup>   -
dopitu¤t'sya golos  zvidkis' zdaleku,  - ah oblishte,  cij temi stil'ki zh lit,
skil'ki  lyudstvu: vse chogos' cheka¤sh, mri¤sh i borsa¤shsya, spodivayuchis' na shchos'
poperedu, a todi odnogo dnya viyavlya¤t'sya, shcho to j bulo zhittya) - lipshe b  tomu
bolevi zatkatis' i ne visovuvatisya bil'she.
     Dajte  meni mikrofona,  i  ya skazhu:  ledi j  dzhentl'meni,  mi  stvorili
prechudovij svit, i prijmit', bud' laska, z ci¤§ nagodi vitannya od "USAir", i
od  Si-En-En,  i  od  Si-Aj-Ej,  i  urugvajs'ko§  narkomafi§,  i  rumuns'ko§
sekuritate,  i od CK Komparti§ Kitayu,  i od  mil'joniv ubivc' po vsih tyurmah
svitu,  i  desyatkiv mil'joniv, shcho hodyat' na voli,  i od p'yati  tisyach zachatih
­valtom sara¤vs'kih bajstryat, shcho koli-nebud'  zhe povirostayut', i -  zrostaj,
prechudovij svite,  ot, vlasne, i vse, shcho ya hotila  skazati,  dyakuyu za uvagu,
ledi j dzhentl'meni, pri¤mnogo vam pol'otu.
     V yunosti  ya  mriyala  pro taku  smert':  aviakatastrofa  nad Atlantikoyu,
litak,  shcho rozchinya¤t'sya v nebi j mori, - ni mogili, ni  slida. Teper ya  vsim
sercem bazhayu c'omu  litaku shchaslivogo prizemlennya:  meni podoba¤t'sya divitis'
na visokogo, zhilavogo starogo z  gorbatim nosom  i gliboko vritimi vid  ochej
vdil  boroznami,  yak  vin  zapiha¤  v  bagazhnij  vidsik  nejlonovu  torbu  z
namal'ovanoyu   na  puzi   tenisnoyu  raketkoyu,  i  na  ispanistu  bryunetku  v
rozhristanomu shkiryanomu pal'ti - vona z dvoma malyukami, i, poki,  vidchepivshi
vid naplichnika, primoshchu¤  v krisli menshen'ke, druge  - divchinka rokiv p'yati,
vuzen'ke  smaglyave  lichko v barokkovij  rami  obicyayuche-primhlivih kucheriv, -
rozganya¤t'sya navsibich sered prohodu zasvichenimi zahvatom ochenyatami j zubkami
- persha podorozh! - i zupinya¤t'sya na meni:
     - Haj! - shchaslivo vipalyu¤ vona.
     - Haj! - kazhu ya.
     Pitsbur­, veresen' - gruden' 1994 roku.
     <hr>
     <font size="-1">
     <a name="s1">1</a> Vbudovana kuhnya.
     <a name="s2">2</a> Oblish, daj meni spokij.
     <a name="s3">3</a> Bozhevil'no§ lyubovi.
     <a name="s4">4</a> Bozhevillya.
     <a name="s5">5</a> Vi hochete skazati, ce ne rosijs'ka?
     <a name="s6">6</a> Znevazhliva klichka immi­rantiv-puertorikanciv.
     <a name="s7">7</a> Proshu?
     <a name="s8">8</a>   "Kraj   neobmezhenih   mozhlivostej"   -   standartne
propa­andists'ke klishe.
     <a name="s9">9</a> Bolisne zlyagannya.
     <a name="s10">10</a> Ne bachu zhodnih problem.
     <a name="s11">11</a> AAASS - American Association for the Advancement of
Slavic Studies, providna slavistichna asociaciya SSHA.
     <a name="s12">12</a> Gospodi, abi zh vin til'ki ne buv takij zbisa dobrij
hudozhnik!
     <a name="s13">13</a> Slov'yans'kij sharm.
     <a name="s14">14</a> Zvidki vi? - Z Ukra§ni. - A de ce?
     <a name="s15">15</a> Takij zbisa dobrij hudozhnik.
     <a name="s16">16</a> Oce tak istoriya!
     <a name="s17">17</a> Kraj neobmezhenih mozhlivostej.
     <a name="s18">18</a> Vi bliskuchij poet.
     <a name="s19">19</a> SHafok (u rozdyagal'ni).
     <a name="s20">20</a> Taki virno trima¤tesya c'ogo plavannya, ege?
     <a name="s21">21</a>   Rozirvanij   zv'yazok,   odrazu   po   rozluchenni,
seksual'no travmatichnij.
     <a name="s22">22</a> Strah bliz'kosti,  strah  frigidnosti,  su§cidal'ni
nastro§.
     <a name="s23">23</a> I ya take perezhila - z bat'kom mo§h ditej.
     <a name="s24">24</a> Mati-odinachka.
     <a name="s25">25</a> Shozhe, shcho kozhen take perezhiv.
     <a name="s26">26</a> Prosimo do gurtu.
     <a name="s27">27</a> Kozhna zhinka take perezhivala.
     <a name="s28">28</a> YA znayu.
     <a name="s29">29</a> Povazhni psihichni problemi.
     <a name="s30">30</a> YAk sya ma¤te? - Dobre.
     <a name="s31">31</a> Dlya vsyakogo viku.
     <a name="s32">32</a> Zvablivo§ zhinki.
     <a name="s33">33</a> Kogo ce obhodit'?
     <a name="s34">34</a> Zabud'te, vikin'te z golovi.
     <a name="s35">35</a> Stolik dlya kavi.
     <a name="s36">36</a> Pozhezhna si­nalizaciya.
     <a name="s37">37</a> Termin povernennya (knizhki).
     <a name="s38">38</a> Apteka.
     <a name="s39">39</a> Podorozhn¤ a­entstvo.
     <a name="s40">40</a> YA  sama-samis'ka  u c'omu velikomu misti,  Vilsone,
druzhe, zglyan'sya.
     <a name="s41">41</a> Kermuvannya avtomobilem u netverezomu stani.
     <a name="s42">42</a> Potribnih lyudej.
     <a name="s43">43</a>  YAkshcho  dolya  ukra§ns'ko§  literaturi v  rukah takih
lyudej, yak vi, to nichogo boyatis' za §§ majbutn¤.
     <a name="s44">44</a> YA na desyat' rokiv starsha za tebe. - Breshesh.
     <a name="s45">45</a> Den' Podyaki - tradicijno rodinne svyato.
     <a name="s46">46</a> Ukra§na shche ne vmerla, - "Ce shcho za gimn takij?"
     <a name="s47">47</a> Tomu shcho rozperetaka suka ne zmogla b vizhiti!
     <a name="s48">48</a> Poziku, strahovu zabezpeku.
     <a name="s49">49</a> Ne pro zlidnya perebir.
     <a name="s50">50</a> Vash litak shchojno vidletiv, mem.
     <a name="s51">51</a> Pri¤mno§ vam nochi.
     <a name="s52">52</a> Padlyuka ti, hlopche, chu¤sh? Anu vedi meni zaraz  syudi
svogo bosa, chuv? Zaraz zhe!
     <a name="s53">53</a> A ti vibiraj virazi!
     <a name="s54">54</a> Mozhete ne hvilyuvatisya, mem.
     <a name="s55">55</a> Ce p'yatnadcyat' hvilin §zdi, cheka¤mo na tebe.
     <a name="s56">56</a> CHi ne mogli b vi podzvoniti tudi.
     <a name="s57">57</a> Til'ki ne rushtesya, choloviche, garazd?
     <a name="s58">58</a>  Ce  p'yatnadcyat' hvilin §zdi,  choloviche, vi  prosto
nichogo ne tyamite v svo¤mu dili!
     <a name="s59">59</a> Vechirka.
     <a name="s60">60</a> Dobre pitannya.
     <a name="s61">61</a> Bridnya.
     <a name="s62">62</a> Spilkuvatisya, bavitisya v tovaristvi.
     <a name="s63">63</a> Cikavo.
     <a name="s64">64</a> Dali bude.
     <a name="s65">65</a> Ti skinchila svo¤ doslidzhennya.
     <a name="s66">66</a> Muzhchini lajna varti.
     <a name="s67">67</a> Tobi ne zda¤t'sya, shcho hlop prosto serjozno hvorij?
     <a name="s68">68</a> Nepogana dumka.
     <a name="s69">69</a> Students'komu gurtozhitku.
     <a name="s70">70</a> Pomozhi t' bezdomnim, mem! - YA sama bezdomna.
     <a name="s71">71</a> SHCHo, shcho zrobiv ti z svo§m zhittyam? (franc.)