Sergej Orlov. Intel_It i Glyukomor'e
Date: 22 Mar 1997
From: Orlove Serg
Integral®nyj Intelit
On na MotherBoard sidit. MS-Dos-ka pribezhala
Prihodi na nem krutit®sya K Intelitu, zavizzhala:
Access, Word, Excel-tablica - Moj Norton-commander
Vsem rabotu oblegchit. Popal pod Explorer!!!
Pen® Ty Umnyj - Intelit! On hvatal interrupt-y,
A emu perekryli vse features!
I prishla k Intelitu Fox-a - I vot on v okoshke krivoj
Oj menya menya Pro-kusila OS-a. Sinen®kij Peten®ka moj...
I prishel k Intelitu DR-Dos - Intelit prishil emu DeskTop -
A menya Cyrix klyunul v CMOS! I Norton rabotaet snova!
Vseh zapustit, vypolnit
Novyj moshchnyj Intelit!
MS-Mail-a pribezhala
I message-u pokazala.
Vot vam telegramma
Ot Billa Gejtsa pryamo!
V krasivoj, firmennoj Brand-Name, gde moshchnyj interfejs
Sidit i plachet s Vindusom neschastnyj Billi Gejts.
On v Vindus 95 bezvylazno sidit.
I na ekrane Vindusa na nebo on glyadit -
Ne edet li na mamu k nim moshchnee Intelit!
A ryadom beta-testery vpovalochku lezhat.
U nih, u beta-testerov priklady ne good-yat!
Na Vindus devyanosto pyat®, sklevali bug-i kur:
To ne idet setup u nih, to General Failure!
I vstal Intellit, pobezhal Intellit
I odno tol®ko slovo tverdit
Vindusa, vindusa, vindusa
Tut pamyat® vstaet u nego na puti A esli Setup ne projdu
I skol®ko zhe nado ee zavesti? Esli v dead-lock popadu
A pamyati malo, i bol®she by luchshe, CHto stanetsya s nimi
A nado by pamyati celuyu kuchu! S Applyami(*) moimi rodnymi
Tut k nemu za zelenye baksy I postavil SIMMy Intelit
Pribezhali shirokie SIMMy: I odno tol®ko slovo tverdit
Postav® Intellit nas vseh - Vindusa, vindusa, vindusa
I budet mozgov vosem® meg!
Sto megov fajlo'v u nego na puti A esli Setup ne projdu
I nado emu vse fajly' zavesti. Esli v dead-lock popadu
Ne postavish® fajly' s CD-ROM-a - CHto stanetsya s nimi
Vek ne vylezesh® iz-pod oblomov! S Applyami moimi rodnymi
I tut zhe ot SeaGate-y' I zalez na vinty Intelit
Prikupil on bol®shie vinty. I odno tol®ko slovo tverdit
Skazis®(**) Intelit na nas - Vindusa, vindusa, vindusa
Vse fajly zagruzim my vraz!
I Screen-y vstayut pered nim na puti A esli Setup ne projdu
I on po Screen-am nachinaet polzti. Esli v dead-lock popadu
A Screen-y vse shire, palitry vse kruche, CHto stanetsya s nimi
Na Screen-ah klubyatsya krasivye tuchi! S Applyami moimi rodnymi
I so skorost®yu sto megabajt I sel Intelit, poletel Intelit
K Intelitu sletel PCI. I odno tol®ko slovo tverdit
Sadis® mne na shinu verhom - Vindusa, vindusa, vindusa
My bystro Screen-y zab®em!
|to chto za PC-ca po nebu kruzhitsya?
A PC-ca vse nizhe kruzhitsya,
A PC-ca na zemlyu saditsya.
I shodit s nee Intelit,
I srazu zhe vindus boot-it.
Podbegaet on k beta-testeram
I upgrade-it vseh ih on patch-ami.
V system directory-j suet DLL-i,
I stavit, i stavit im driver-y!
Vot i vy-patch-il on ih - Vindusa!
Install-iroval on ih - Vindusa!
I poshli oni boot-it®sya, ot-click-at®sya, i swAPI-t®sya -
Vindusa, vindusa, vindusa!
Tut zhe srazu beta-testery uhvatilis® za tech-note-ki
I v IDE-yah compile-yayutsya tak, chto UPS-y vyklyuchayutsya!
---------------------------------------------------------
(*) Appl® - malen®kij Application, on zhe priklad (ne putat® s
Apple).
(**) Skazit® - obmenivat®sya cherez SCCI.
(S) IB-Lit KICH
(S) Orlov Sergej. Vladivostok 1996. (Perevod na programmer-skij)
e-mail: opcep@usa.net ; opcep@taichu.marine.su
http://www.marine.su/win/vlad/opcep/orlov.html
Date: 23 Nov 1997
- U vas Windows ne visnet?
- A vy ego Install-irovali?
U MicroSoft-a Win dubovyj
Zlataya price na Win-e tom.
I dnem i noch®yu bug kruchenyj
Vse hodit po Win-u krugom.
Pojdet nalevo boot zavodit,
Napravo - Help-y govorit.
Tam driver-a, tam virus brodit,
V zasade GPF sidit.
Tam na nevedomyh dorozhkah
Mozgi nevinnyh user-ej.
I Office tam na Cyr-®ih Font-ah
Stoit pri oknah bez dverej.
Tam RAM i vint kartinok polny.
Tam pri zagruzke pleshchut volny
Pod Screen nebesno-goluboj
I tridcat® drajverov, kak volki,
Mezhdu soboj gryzutsya dolgo
I s nimi Kernel ih swap-noj.
Tam seryj lamer mimohodom
Zanosit virus s floparya.
Tam v oblakah pered narodom
CHerez ... koroche govorya,
Vy snova gruzites® s SafeMod-om.
V okoshke tam MS-DOS tuzhit,
Ej staryj BIOS verno sluzhit.
Tam script-y s Sun-ovoj YAvoj
Idut-bredut sami soboj.
Tam Billi Gejts nad zlatom chahnet.
Tam baksov duh, tam SUX-om pahnet.
I ya tam byl, Win-y gruzil,
Na Screen-e videl flag ih dranyj,
Pred nim sidel, i Help nezvannyj
Svoi mne skazki govoril...
Uzh luchshe b Linux ya boot-il!!!
(C)OpCep.
mail: opcep@taichu.marine.su
http://www.marine.su/win/vlad/opcep/orlov.html
cm. takzhe ftp://ftp.marine.su/humor/ACnywkuH.txt
Last-modified: Sun, 23 Nov 1997 15:40:32 GMT