ones without flech, taking kiss, kake or  kick with  a suck,
sigh or simper, a diffle to  larn and a dibble to lech;  if the fain shinner
pegged  you to shave  his  immartial, wee skillmustered shoul with his  ooh,
hoodoodoo ! broking wind that to wiles, woemaid sin he was partial, we don't
think, Jones, we'd care to this evening, would you?
     Answer:  No, blank ye! So you think I have impulsivism? Did  they  tell
you I am one of the fortysixths?  And I suppose you heard I had a  wag on my
ears? And I  suppose they  told you too that my roll of life is not natural?
But before proceeding to conclusively confute this begging question it would
be  far  fitter for  you,  if  you dare! to  hasitate to  consult  with  and
consequentially  attempt  at  my  disposale  of the  same  dime-cash problem
elsewhere naturalistically of  course, from the blinkpoint of  so  eminent a
spatialist.  From it you will  here notice,  Schott, upon  my for  the first
remarking you that  the sophology of Bitchson  while  driven  as under  by a
purely  dime-dime  urge  is not without  his  cashcash  characktericksticks,
borrowed for  its nonce ends from the fiery goodmother Miss Fortune (who the
lost time we had the pleasure we  have had our little recherch‚  brush with,
what, Schott?) and as I further could  have told you as brisk as your D.B.C.
behaviouristically paillet‚  with a coat of homoid icing which is in reality
only a  done by chance ridiculisation  of  the  whoo-whoo and where's  hairs
theorics of Winestain. To put it all the more plumbsily. The speechform is a
mere sorrogate. Whilst the quality and tality (I shall explex what you ought
to  mean by  this with  its  proper when  and where  and why and how  in the
subsequent sentence) are alternativomentally harrogate and  arrogate, as the
gates may be.
     Talis  is a  word often abused  by many  passims (I  am working  out  a
quantum theory about it for it is really most tantumising state of affairs).
A pessim may  frequent  you to say: Have you been seeing much  of  Talis and
Talis those times? optimately meaning:  Will you put up at hree of irish? Or
a ladyeater may perhaps have casualised as you temptoed her ... la sourdine:
Of your plates?  Is  Talis de  Talis, the swordswallower,  who is on  at the
Craterium the same Talis von Talis, the penscrusher, no  funk you ! who runs
his duly mile?  Or this is a perhaps cleaner example. At a recent postvortex
piece infustigation of a determinised case of chronic spinosis  an extension
lecturer on The Ague who out of matter of form was trying his seesers,  Dr's
Het Ubeleeft, borrowed the question:  Why's which Suchman's talis qualis? to
whom, as a fatter of  macht, Dr Gedankje  of  Stoutgirth, who was wiping his
whistle, toarsely retoarted:  While thou  beast' one zoom of a whorl! (Talis
and Talis originally mean the same thing, hit it's: Qualis.)
     Professor Loewy-Brueller (though  as  I shall promptly prove  his whole
account of  the Sennacherib  as  distinct from  the Shalmanesir sanitational
reforms  and of the Mr Skekels  and Dr Hydes problem in the  same connection
differs toto coelo from the fruit  of my own investigations  --  though  the
reason I went to Jericho must remain for certain reasons  a political secret
--  especially as I  shall shortly be  wanted  in  Cavantry, I  congratulate
myself, for the same and other reasons -- as being again hopelessly vitiated
by  what I  have now resolved to call the dime  and cash diamond fallacy) in
his  talked off confession which recently  met with such a leonine uproar on
its escape after its confinement Why am I not born like a Gentileman and why
am I now so speakable about  my own  eatables (Feigenbaumblatt  and  Father,
Judapest, 5688,  A.M.)  whole-heartedly takes off  his  gabbercoat and  wig,
honest  draughty fellow, in his public interest, to make us see  how though,
as he says: 'by Allswill' the inception and the descent  and the endswell of
Man is temporarily wrapped  in obscenity, looking through at these accidents
with  the faroscope  of  television, (this nightlife instrument  needs still
some  subtractional betterment  in the  readjustment of the more refrangible
angles  to  the squeals of his  hypothesis  on the outer  tin sides),  I can
easily believe heartily in my own most spacious immensity as my ownhouse and
microbemost cosm when I am reassured by ratio that the cube of my volumes is
to the  surfaces of their subjects as the sphericity  of these globes (I  am
very pressing for a parliamentary motion this term which, under my guidance,
would establish the deleteriousness of  decorousness in the morbidisation of
the modern mandaboutwoman type) is to the feracity of Fairynelly's vacuum. I
need  not anthrapologise for any obintentional (I must here correct all that
school  of neoitalian or paleoparisien schola of  tinkers  and spanglers who
say  I'm  wrong  parcequeue  out of revolscian from romanitis I  want to be)
downtrodding on my foes. Professor Levi-Brullo, F.D. of SexeWeiman-Eitelnaky
finds, from  experiments  made  by  hinn  with his Nuremberg eggs in the one
hands and the watches cunldron apan the oven, though it is astensably a case
of Ket's rebollions cooling  the  Popes  back, because the  number of squeer
faiths  in  weekly  circulation  will  not  be  appreciably augmented by the
notherslogging of my cupolar clods.  What the romantic  in  rags pines after
like  all tomtompions haunting crevices for a  deadbeat  escupement and what
het  importunes  our  Mitleid  for  in  accornish  with  the  Mortadarthella
taradition  is the poorest commononguardiant waste of time. His  everpresent
toes are always  in retaliessian  out throuth his  overpast boots.  Hear him
squak!  Teek heet  to that  looswallawer how he  bolo the bat! Tyro a toray!
When Mullocky won the couple of colds,  when  we  were stripping  in  number
three, I would like the neat drop that would malt in my mouth but  I fail to
see when  (I am purposely refraining from expounding the obvious  fallacy as
to the  specific gravitates of the two deglutables implied nor to the lapses
lequou  asousiated  with  the   royal   gorge  through   students  of  mixed
hydrostatics  and  pneumodipsics will after some  difficulties  grapple away
with  my  meinungs). Myrrdin aloer! as  old  Marsellas Cambriannus puts his.
But, on Professor Llewellys  ap Bryllars, F.D., Ph. Dr's showings, the plea,
if he pleads, is all posh and robbage on a melodeontic scale since his man's
when is no otherman's quandour (Mine, dank you?) while,-- for  aught I  care
for  the contrary,  the all is where in love as war and the plane  where  me
arts soar you'd aisy rouse a thunder from and where I cling true'tis there I
climb tree and where Innocent looks best (pick!) there's holly in his ives.
     As  my  explanations  here  are  probably  above  your  understandings,
lattlebrattons, though as augmentatively uncomparisoned as Cadwan, Cadwallon
and  Cadwalloner,  I  shall  revert  to  a  more  expletive method  which  I
frequently use when  I have to sermo with muddlecrass pupils. Imagine for my
purpose  that  you are a  squad  of  urchins,  snifflynosed,  goslingnecked,
clothyheaded, tangled  in your lacings,  tingled  in  your pants,  etsitaraw
etcicero. And you,  Bruno Nowlan,  take  your tongue out of  your inkpot! As
none of  you knows javanese I will give all my  easyfree translation  of the
old fabulist's parable.  Allaboy Minor, take your head out of your  satchel!
Audi, Joe Peters! Exaudi facts !
     The Mookse and The Gripes.
     Gentes  and  laitymen,  fullstoppers  and  semicolonials,  hybreds  and
lubberds !
     Eins within a space and a wearywide space it wast  ere wohned a Mookse.
The onesomeness wast alltolonely, archunsitslike,  broady oval, and a Mookse
he  would  a  walking go  (My  hood!  cries Antony Romeo),so one  grandsumer
evening, after a great morning and  his good supper of  gammon and spittish,
having flabelled his eyes, pilleoled his nostrils, vacticanated his ears and
palliumed his  throats, he put  on  his impermeable, seized his  impugnable,
harped  on his crown and stepped out of his immobile  De Rure Albo (socolled
becauld it was chalkfull of masterplasters and had borgeously letout gardens
strown with cascadas, pintacostecas, horthoducts and currycombs) and set off
from Ludstown a spasso to see how badness was badness in the weirdest of all
pensible ways.
     As he  set off  with his  father's  sword, his lancia spezzata, he  was
girded on, and with that between his legs and his tarkeels, our once in only
Bragspear, he clanked, to my clinking,  from veetoes to threetop, every inch
of an immortal.
     He had not walked over a pentiadpair of parsecs  from his  azylium when
at    the    turning    of    the    Shinshone     Lanteran    near    Saint
Bowery's-without-his-Walls  he  came (secunding to the one  one oneth of the
propecies, Amnis  Limina Permanent) upon the most unconsciously boggylooking
stream he  ever locked his eyes with. Out of  the colliens it took a rise by
daubing  itself Ninon. It looked little and it smelt of brown and it thought
in narrows  and  it talked showshallow. And as it rinn it dribbled like  any
lively  purliteasy: My, my, my! Me and me! Little down dream  don't  I  love
thee!
     And, I  declare, what was there on the yonder  bank of  the stream that
would  be  a river, parched  on a  limb of the olum, bolt downright, but the
Gripes?  And  no doubt he was fit to be dried for why had he not been having
the juice of his times?
     His pips  had been neatly all  drowned on him; his  polps were charging
odours every older minute; he was quickly for getting the dresser's desdaign
on  the  flyleaf of his frons; and he  was quietly  for giving the bailiff's
distrain on  to  the bulkside  of  his cul  de  Pompe. In all  his  specious
heavings, as  be  lived  by Optimus Maximus, the  Mookse  had never seen his
Dubville brooderon-low so nigh to a pickle.
     Adrian   (that   was   the   Mookse   now's   assumptinome)  stuccstill
phiz-...--phiz  to the Gripes in  an accessit of  aurignacian. But Allmookse
must to Moodend much as Allrouts, austereways or wastersways, in roaming run
through Room. Hic sor a stone, singularly illud, and on hoc stone Seter satt
huc sate which it  filled  quite poposterously and by acclammitation to  its
fullest justotoryum and whereopum with his unfallable encyclicling  upom his
alloilable, diupetriark of the wouest, and the athemystsprinkled pederect he
always walked with, Deusdedit, cheek by  jowel with his frisherman's blague?
Bellua Triumphanes, his everyway addedto wallat's collectium, for yea longer
he  lieved yea broader he betaught of it, the fetter, the summe and the haul
it  cost, he looked  the first and last  micahlike  laicness of Quartus  the
Fifth and Quintus  the Sixth  and Sixtus the Seventh giving allnight sitting
to Lio the Faultyfindth.
     -- Good appetite us, sir Mookse ! How do you  do it? cheeped the Gripes
in a  wherry whiggy maudelenian woice  and  the  jackasses  all  within bawl
laughed and  brayed for his  intentions  for they knew their sly  toad lowry
now.  I  am  rarumominum  blessed to see you, my dear mouster. Will you  not
perhopes tell me everything  if you are pleased, sanity? All about aulne and
lithial and allsall allinall about awn and liseias? Ney?
     Think of it! O miserendissimest retempter! A Gripes!
     -- Rats!  bullowed the Mookse most telesphorously, the concionator, and
the sissymusses and the zozzymusses in their robenhauses quailed to hear his
tardeynois at all for  you  cannot wake a  silken nouse out of a hoarse oar.
Blast yourself and your anathomy infairioriboos! No, hang you for  an animal
rurale! I am superbly in my supremest poncif! Abase you, baldyqueens! Gather
behind me, satraps! Rots!
     --  I  am till infinity obliged with you,  bowed the  Gripes, his whine
having  gone to his palpruy head. I am still always having a  wish on all my
extremities. By the watch, what is the time, pace?
     Figure it! The pining peever! To a Mookse!
     --  Ask  my index, mund my achilles,  swell my  obolum, woshup my  nase
serene, answered  the Mookse, rapidly  by  turning clement, urban, eugenious
and  celestian in the formose of good grogory humours. Quote awhore? That is
quite about what I came on  my missions  with my intentions  laudibiliter to
settle  with  you, barbarousse. Let thor be orlog. Let Pauline be Irene. Let
you  be Beeton. And let  me be Los  Angeles. Now measure  your  length.  Now
estimate my  capacity. Well, sour? Is this space of our  couple of hours too
dimensional for you, temporiser? Will you give you up? Como? Fuert it?
     Sancta Patientia! You should have  heard  the voice that answered him !
Culla vosellina.
     -- I was just thinkling upon that, swees Mooksey, but, for all the rime
on my  raisins,  if I  connow make my submission, I cannos give you up,  the
Gripes      whimpered     from     nethermost      of      his      wanhope.
Ishallassoboundbewilsothoutoosezit. My  tumble, loudy  bullocker, is my own.
My velicity  is too fit  in  one stockend.  And my spetial inexshellsis  the
belowing things ab ove. But I will never be abler to tell Your Honoriousness
(here  he  near  lost  his   limb)  though  my  corked  father  was  bott  a
pseudowaiter, whose o'cloak you ware.
     Incredible! Well, hear the inevitable.
     --   Your   temple,  sus  in  cribro!   Semperexcommunicambiambisumers.
Tugurios-in-Newrobe  or Tukurias-in-Ashies. Novarome, my  creature, blievend
bleives. My building space in lyonine city is always to let to leonlike Men,
the  Mookse in a most consistorous  allocution pompifically  with  immediate
jurisdiction constantinently concludded (what a crammer for the shapewrucked
Gripes!). And I regret to proclaim that it is out of my temporal to help you
from being killed by  inchies, (what a thrust!), as we first  met each other
newwhere  so airly.  (Poor little sowsieved  subsquashed Gripes! I  begin to
feel  contemption  for  him!).  My  side,thank  decretals,  is  as  safe  as
motherour's houses, he continued,  and I can  seen from my holeydome what it
is  to be  wholly  sane. Unionjok  and  be joined to yok! Parysis, tu  sais,
crucycrooks, belongs to him who parises himself. And there I must  leave you
subject for the pressing. I  can prove that against you, weight  a momentum,
mein  goot enemy! or Cospol's not our star.  I bet you this dozen odd.  This
foluminous  dozen  odd.  Quas primas  --  but  'tis  bitter  to  compote  my
knowledge's fructos of. Tomes.
     Elevating, to  give peint  to  his blick, his jewelled pederect to  the
allmysty cielung, he luckystruck blueild out of a few shouldbe  santillants,
a cloister of starabouts  over Maples,  a lucciolys in  Teresa street  and a
stopsign  before  Sophy Barratt's, he gaddered togodder the  odds docence of
his vellumes, gresk, letton and russicruxian, onto the lapse of his prolegs,
into umfullth onescuppered, and sat about  his widerproof  He proved it well
whoonearth  dry  and  drysick  times,  and  vremiament,  tu cesses,  to  the
extinction of  Niklaus  altogether (Niklaus  Alopysius having been the  once
Gripes's  popwilled nimbum) by  Neuclidius  and Inexagoras  and  Mumfsen and
Thumpsem, by Orasmus and by Amenius, by Anacletus the Jew and by Malachy the
Augurer  and by the Cappon's  collection  and  after  that,  with  Cheekee's
gelatine and Alldaybrandy's formolon, he reproved it  ehrltogether when  not
in that  order sundering in  some different order, alter three thirty and  a
hundred  times by the binomial dioram  and the  penic walls and the ind, the
Inklespill legends  and  the rure, the  rule of the hoop and the blessons of
expedience  and  the  jus,  the  jugicants of  Pontius  Pilax  and  all  the
mummyscrips in Sick Bokes' Juncroom and  the Chapters for the Cunning of the
Chapters of the Conning Fox by Tail.
     While  that  Mooksius   with  preprocession  and   with  proprecession,
duplicitly and  diplussedly,  was promulgating ipsofacts and sadcontras this
raskolly   Gripos   he   had   allbust   seceded   in   monophysicking   his
illsobordunates.  But   asawfulas   he  had   caught   his  base  semenoyous
sarchnaktiers  to  combuccinate  upon the silipses of his aspillouts and the
acheporeoozers  of  his  haggyown   pneumax  to   synerethetise   with   the
breadchestviousness of his sweeatovular ducose sofarfully the loggerthuds of
his  sakellaries were fond  at variance with the synodals of his somepooliom
and his babskissed nepogreasymost got the hoof from his philioquus.
     -- Efter thousand yaws, O Gripes con my sheepskins, yow will be belined
to the world, enscayed Mookse the pius.
     --  Ofter  thousand yores, amsered Gripes  the  gregary, be the goat of
MacHammud's, yours may be still, O Mookse, more botheared.
     -- Us shall be chosen as the first of the last by the electress of Vale
Hollow, obselved the Mookse nobily, for par the unicum of Elelijiacks, Us am
in Our stabulary and that is what Ruby and Roby fall for, blissim.
     The Pills, the Nasal Wash (Yardly's),  the Army  Man Cut, as british as
bondstrict  and  as  straightcut  as when that brokenarched  traveller  from
Nuzuland . . .
     -- Wee,  cumfused the Gripes limply,  shall not even be the last of the
first,  wee hope,  when  oust are visitated  by  the Veiled  Horror. And, he
added: Mee are relying entirely,  see the fortethurd  of  Elissabed, on  the
weightiness of mear's breath. Puffut!
     Unsightbared embouscher, relentless foe to social  and business succes!
(Hourihaleine) It might have been a happy evening but . . .
     And  they  viterberated each other, canis et  coluber  with the wildest
ever wielded since Tarriestinus lashed Pissasphaltium.
     -- Unuchorn!
     -- Ungulant!
     -- Uvuloid !
     -- Uskybeak!
     And bullfolly answered volleyball.
     Nuvoletta  in  her lightdress,  spunn of  sisteen shimmers, was looking
down on them, leaning over the bannistars and listening  all  she childishly
could.  How  she was brightened when Shouldrups in  his glaubering hochskied
his  welkinstuck  and how she was overclused when Kneesknobs  on his zwivvel
was  makeacting  such a paulse  of  himshelp! She was alone. All  her nubied
companions were asleeping with the squirrels. Their mivver, Mrs Moonan,  was
off in the Fuerst quarter scrubbing the backsteps of Number 28. Fuvver, that
Skand,  he  was up  in  Norwood's  sokaparlour, eating  oceans  of  Voking's
Blemish. Nuvoletta listened as she  reflected  herself, though the  heavenly
one with his constellatria  and his emanations  stood between, and she tried
all  she tried to make the  Mookse  look  up  at  her (but  he was fore  too
adiaptotously  farseeing) and  to make the Gripes hear how coy  she could be
(though he was  much  too  schystimatically auricular about his  ens to heed
her) but  it was all  mild's vapour  moist.  Not even her feignt reflection,
Nuvoluccia,  could  they  toke  their  gnoses  off  for  their  minds   with
intrepifide fate and bungless  curiasity,  were conclaved with Heliogobbleus
and Commodus and Enobarbarus and  whatever the coordinal dickens they did as
their  damprauch of  papyrs  and  buchstubs  said.  As  if  that  was  their
spiration! As if  theirs could duiparate her queendim!  As if she  would  be
third perty  to  search  on search  proceedings! She tried  all  the winsome
wonsome  ways   her   four   winds   had   taught   her.  She   tossed   her
sfumastelliacinous hair like le princesse  de  la  Petite  Bretagne and  she
rounded  her mignons  arms like  Mrs  Cornwallis-West  and  she  smiled over
herself like  the beauty of the image of  the pose of  the  daughter  of the
queen of the Emperour of Irelande and she sighed  after herself as  were she
born to bride with Tristis Tristior Tristissimus.  But, sweet madonine,  she
might  fair  as  well  have  carried  her daisy's worth to  Florida. For the
Mookse, a dogmad Accanite,  were not  amoosed and  the Gripes, a dubliboused
Catalick, wis pinefully obliviscent.
     I see, she sighed. There are menner.
     The siss of the  whisp of  the sigh of the  softzing at the stir of the
ver grose  O arundo  of  a  long  one in  midias reeds: and  shades began to
glidder along the banks, greepsing, greepsing, duusk unto duusk,  and it was
as  glooming  as gloaming  could be in  the waste  of  all  peacable worlds.
Metamnisia was allsoonome  coloroform brune;  citherior  spiane an eaulande,
innemorous  and unnumerose.  The Mookse had a sound  eyes right but he could
not all hear. The Gripes had light  ears left yet he  could  but ill see. He
ceased. And he ceased, tung and trit, and it was neversoever so dusk of both
of  them. But  still  Moo  thought  on  the  deeps of  the undths  he  would
profoundth  come the morrokse and still  Gri feeled of  the scripes he would
escipe if by grice he had luck enoupes.
     Oh, how it was  duusk! From  Vallee Maraia  to  Grasyaplaina, dormimust
echo! Ah dew! Ah dew! It was so duusk that the tears of night began to fall,
first by ones and twos, then by threes and fours, at last by fives and sixes
of sevens,  for the tired ones were wecking, as we weep now with them. O! O!
O! Par la pluie!
     Then there came  down  to the  thither bank a woman of no appearance (I
believe  she was a Black with chills at her feet)  and she  gathered  up his
hoariness the Mookse motamourfully where he was spread and carried him  away
to  her invisible dwelling, thats hights,  Aquila Rapax, for he was the holy
sacred solem and poshup spit of her boshop's apron. So you see the Mookse he
had reason as I knew and you knew and he knew all along. And there came down
to  the hither  bank a woman to all important (though they say  that she was
comely, spite the cold in her heed) and, for he was as like it as blow it to
a hawker's  hank,  she plucked  down the  Gripes, torn panicky autotone,  in
angeu from his limb and  cariad away its  beotitubes with  her to her unseen
shieling, it is, De Rore Coeli.  And so the poor Gripes  got wrong; for that
is always how a Gripes is,  always was and always  will.be. And it was never
so thoughtful of either of them. And there were left now an only elmtree and
but a stone. Polled with pietrous, Sierre but saule. O!  Yes! And Nuvoletta,
a lass.
     Then Nuvoletta reflected for the last time in her  little long life and
she made up all her myriads of drifting minds  in one. She cancelled all her
engauzements. She climbed over the bannistars; she gave a childy cloudy cry:
Nu‚e!  Nu‚e! A lightdress  fluttered. She was gone. And into  the river that
had been a stream (for a  thousand of tears had gone eon her and come on her
and  she  was  stout  and  struck  on  dancing  and  her  muddied  name  was
Missisliffi) there fell  a tear, a singult tear, the  loveliest of all tears
(I mean for  those crylove fables  fans  who are  'keen' on the prettypretty
commonface sort of thing you meet by hopeharrods) for it was a leaptear. But
the river tripped on her  by and by, lapping as  though her heart was brook:
Why, why, why! Weh, O weh I'se so silly to be flowing but I no canna stay!
     No applause, please! Bast! The romescot nattleshaker will go round your
circulation in diu dursus.
     Allaboy, Major, I'll take your reactions in another place after themes.
Nolan Browne, you may now leave the classroom. Joe Peters, Fox.
     As I have now successfully explained to you my  own naturalborn rations
which  are  even in  excise of my vaultybrain insure me that  I am a mouth's
more deserving  case  by  genius. I  feel  in symbathos for  my ever devoted
friend  and  halfaloafonwashed,  Gnaccus  Gnoccovitch. Darling gem!  Darling
smallfox! Horoseshoew! I could love that  man like my own ambo for  being so
baileycliaver  though   he's  a  nawful  curillass  and  I   must  slav   to
methodiousness. I want him to go and live like  a theabild  in charge of the
night brigade  on Tristan da Cunha, isle of  manoverboard,  where he'll make
Number  106  and be  near Inaccessible. (The meeting of  mahoganies, be  the
waves, rementious me that this exposed sight though it pines for an umbrella
of  its  own  and needs a shelter belt of the true service sort  to keep its
boles clean, -- the weeping beeches, Picea and Tillia, are  in a wild  state
about  it --  ought  to  be classified, as Cricketbutt Willowm  and  his two
nurserymen advisers  suggested,  under genus  Inexhaustible when  we refloat
upon  all  the  butternat,  sweet gum and  manna ash  redcedera which  is so
purvulent there  as if there was howthorns in  Curraghchasa  which  ought to
look as  plane as  a lodgepole to  anybody until we are introduced  to  that
pinetacotta of Verney  Rubeus where the deodarty is pinctured  for  us in  a
pure stand, which we  do not  doubt ha has  a habitat of doing,  but without
those  selfsownseedlings  which are a  species  of  proof  that  the largest
individual can occur at or in an olivetion such  as East Conna Hillock where
it  mixes  with  foolth  accacians  and common sallies  and  is  tender) Vux
Populus, as we say in hickoryhockery and I wish we had  some more glasses of
arbor  vitae. Why  roat  by  the  roadside or  awn over  alum pot?  Alderman
Whitebeaver is dakyo. He ought  to go away for  a change of ideas  and  he'd
have  a  world  of things to  look  back on. Do,sweet Daniel! If I weren't a
jones in  myself I'd  elect  myself to be  his  dolphin in  the  wildsbillow
because he is  such  a barefooted rubber with my supersocks  pulled over his
face  which  I publicked in  my  bestback  garden  for  the laetification of
siderodromites and  to the  irony of  the stars.  You will  say  it is  most
unenglish and I shall hope to hear that you  will not be wrong about it. But
I further, feeling a bit husky in my truths.
     Will you  please come over and let  us mooremoore  murgessly  to each's
other down below our vices. I am underheerd by old  billfaust. Wilsh is full
of curks. The coolskittle  is philip deblinite. Mr Wist is thereover beyeind
the wantnot. Wilsh  and wist are as thick  of thins  udder  as  faust on the
deblinite.  Sgunoshooto estas preter la  tapizo malgranda. Lilegas  al si en
sia chambro. Kelkefoje funcktas, kelkefoje srumpas Shultroj. Houdian Kiel vi
fartas, mia nigra sinjoro? And from the poignt  of fun where I am crying  to
arrive you at they are  on allfore  as foibleminded as you can feel they are
fablebodied.
     My heeders will recoil with  a great leisure how at the outbreak before
trespassing on the space question where even  michelangelines have fooled to
dread  I  proved to mindself  as  to your  sotisfiction how  his abject  all
through (the quickquid of Professor Ciondolone's too frequently hypothecated
Bettlermensch) is  nothing so much more than a mere cashdime however genteel
he may want ours, if  we  please (I am speaking to us in the second person),
for to this graded intellecktuals dime is cash and the cash system (you must
not be allowed to forget that this is all contained, I  mean the system,  in
the dogmarks of origen on spurios) means that I cannot now have or nothave a
piece of cheeps in your pocket at the same time and with the same manners as
you can now  nothalf or half the cheek apiece I've in mind unless Burrus and
Caseous  have  not or  not have  seemaultaneously  sysentangled  themselves,
selldear to soldthere, once in the dairy days of buy and buy.
     Burrus, let us  like to  imagine, is a genuine prime,  the real choice,
full of natural greace, the mildest of milkstoffs yet unbeaten as a risicide
and, of course,  obsoletely  unadulterous whereat  Caseous is obversely  the
revise of him and in  fact  not  an ideal  choose by any  meals,  though the
betterman of  the  two is meltingly addicted to the more casual side of  the
arrivaliste  case  and,  let me say it at  once, as  zealous over him  as is
passably  he. The seemsame home and histry seeks and hidepence which we used
to be reading for our prepurgatory, hot, Schott? till Duddy shut the shopper
op and Mutti, poor  Mutti! brought us our poor  suppy, (ah who!  eh how!) in
Acetius and Oleosus and Sellius Volatilis and Petrus Papricus! Our Old Party
quite united  round  the Slatbowel at Commons: Pfarrer Salamoss himself  and
that  sprog  of  a Pedersill  and his Sprig  of  Thyme and a  dozen  of  the
Murphybuds and a  score and more of the hot young Capels and Lettucia in her
greensleeves and  you too and me three, twinsome bibs but hansome ates, like
shakespill and  eggs! But there's  many a  split pretext bowl and  jowl; and
(snob screwing that  cork, Schott!)  to understand this as  well as you can,
feeling  how backward  you  are in your  down-to-the-ground benches, I  have
completed the  following arrangement for the coarse use  of stools and  if I
don't make away with you I'm beyond Caesar outnullused
     The older  sisars  (Tyrants,  regicide  is  too good  for you!)  become
unbeurrable from age, (the compositor of the farce of  dustiny however makes
a thunpledrum mistake by letting off this pienofarte effect as his furst act
as  that  is  where the  juke comes in)  having  been sort-of-nineknived and
chewly removed (this soldier --  author -- batman for  all his commontoryism
is  just  another  of  those  souftsiezed  bubbles  who  never quite got the
sandhurst out of his  eyes so that  the champaign he draws for us is as flop
as a plankrieg) the  twinfreer types are billed  to make their reupprearance
as the knew kneck  and knife knickknots on the deserted champ de bouteilles.
(A  most  cursery  reading into the  Persic-Uraliens hostery  shows  us  how
Fonnumagula picked up  that propper numen  out of a  colluction of  prifixes
though to the permienting cannasure the Coucousien oafsprung of this  sun of
a  kuk is as sattin as there's a tub in Tobolosk) Ostiak della Vogul Marina!
But  that  I dannoy  the fact of wanton to weste  point I could paint you to
that  butter  (cheese it!) if  you had some  wash.  Mordvealive! Oh  me none
onsens!  Why the  case  is  as inessive and impossive as  kezom hands! Their
interlocative  is  conprovocative  just  as  every  hazzy  hates to having a
hazbane in her noze. Caseous may bethink himself a thought of a caviller but
Burrus  has  the reachly roundered  head that  goes best  with  thofthinking
defensive fideism. He  has the lac  of wisdom under every dent in his lofter
while the other  follow's onni  vesy milky  indeedmymy.  Laughing  over  the
linnuts and weeping off  the  uniun. He hisn't the hey og he lisn't the lug,
poohoo. And each night sim  misses mand he  winks he had the semagen. It was
aptly and corrigidly stated (and, it is  royally needless for one  ex  ungue
Leonem to  say by whom) that his seeingscraft was  that clarety  as were the
wholeborough of Poutresbourg to be averlaunched over him pitchbatch he could
still make out with  his augstritch the green  moat in Ireland's Eye. Let me
sell you the fulltroth of Burrus when he  wore a younker. Here  it  is,  and
chorming too, in six by sevens! A cleanly line, by the gods! A king off duty
and  a jaw  for ever!  And what a  cheery ripe outlook, good help  me Deus v
Deus!  If I were  to speak my  ohole mouthful to arinam about it you  should
call me the ormuzd aliment in your  midst  of faime. Eat ye up, heat  ye up!
sings the somun in the salm. Butyrum et mel comedet ut sciat reprobare malum
et eligere bonum.  This, of course, also explains why we were taught to play
in the childhood: Der Haensli ist ern Butterbrot, mein Butterbrot! Und Koebi
iss dein Schtinkenkot! Ja! Ja! Ja!
     This in fact, just  to show you, is Caseous, the  brutherscutch or puir
tyron:  a  hole  or two, the highstinks aforefelt and anygo  prigging wurms.
Cheesugh! you complain. And Hi Hi High must say you are not Hoa  Hoa  Hoally
in the wrong!
     Thus we  cannot  escape our  likes  and mislikes, exiles or ambusheers,
beggar and  neighbour and  -- this is where the dimeshow advertisers advance
the temporal relief plea --  let us be tolerant  of antipathies. Nex  quovis
burro num fit mercaseus? I  am not hereby giving my final endorsement to the
learned ignorants  of the Cusanus philosophism in which old Nicholas pegs it
down that the smarter the spin of the top the sounder the span of the buttom
(what the worthy old auberginiste ought to have meant was: the more stolidly
immobile in space appears to me the bottom which is presented to use in time
by the top primomobilisk &c.). And I shall be misunderstord if understood to
give  an unconditional sinequam to  the heroicised furibouts  of the Nolanus
theory, or, at any rate, of that substrate of apart from hissheory where the
Theophil swoors that on principial he was the pointing  start of his  odiose
by  comparison and that whiles eggs will fall cheapened all over  the walled
the Bure will be dear on the Brie.
     Now,  while  I  am  not out  now to  be  taken  up  as  unintentionally
recommending  the  Silkebjorg tyrondynamon machine  for the more  economical
helixtrolysis of these amboadipates  until I  can find space to look into it
myself  a  little more  closely first I shall go on  with my decisions after
having shown  to you in good time  how both products of  our social  stomach
(the  excellent  Dr  Burroman,  I noticed by the way from  his  emended food
theory, has been carefully digesting  the very wholesome criticism I  helped
him  to  in  my  princeps  edition which is  all so  munch to  the  cud) are
mutuearly  polarised  the  incompatabilily  of  any  delusional   acting  as
ambivalent to the  fixation of his  pivotism. Positing, as above,  too males
pooles, the one the pictor of the other and the omber the Skotia of the one,
and looking wantingly around our undistributed  middle between males we feel
we  must  waistfully  woent  a  female  to  focus  and  on  this stage there
pleasantly  appears the  cowrymaid  M.  whom we shall  often meet below  who
introduces herself upon us at  some  precise hour which we shall again agree
to call  absolute zero or the babbling pumpt of  platinism. And so like that
former son of a kish who went up and out to found his farmer's ashes we come
down home gently on our own turnedabout asses to meet Margareen.
     We now  romp  through  a  period of pure lyricism  of  shamebred  music
(technologically, let me say, the appetising entry of this subject on a fool
chest of vialds is plumply pudding the carp before doevre hors) evidenced by
such  words  in distress as I cream for  thee, Sweet Margareen, and the more
hopeful O Margareena! O Margareena! Still in the  bowl  is  left  a lump  of
gold!  (Correspondents, by  the  way, will  keep on  asking  me  what is the
correct  garnish  to  serve  drisheens   with.  Tansy  Sauce.  Enough).  The
pawnbreaking  pathos  of the first of  these shoddy pieces reveals  it  as a
Caseous effort. Burrus's  bit is  often  used for a toast.  Criniculture can
tell us very precisely indeed how and  why this particular  streak of yellow
silver first appeared on (not in) the bowel, that is to see, the human head,
bald,  black, bronze, brown, brindled, betteraved or  blanchemanged where it
might be usefully compared with an  earwig on a  fullbottom.  I  am offering
this to Signorina Cuticura and I intend to take it up and bring it under the
nosetice of Herr Harlene by way  of diverting his attentions. Of  course the
unskilled  singer continues to  pervert  our wiser ears by subordinating the
space-element, that is to sing, the aria, to the time-factor, which ought to
be killed, ill tempor. I should  advise any  unborn singer  who may still be
among my heeders  to forget her  temporal diaphragm at home (the best  thing
that could  happen to  it!)  and  attack the roulade  with a swift colpo  di
glottide to the lug (though Maace I  will insist was reclined from overdoing
this, his recovery often being slow) and then, O ! on the third dead beat, O
! to cluse  her eyes and aiopen her oath and  see what spice I may send her.
How? Cease thee, cantatrickee! I fain would be solo. Arouse thee, my valour!
And save for e'er my true Bdur!
     I  shall  have a  word to  say  in a  few yards  about the acoustic and
orchidectural management of the tonehall but, as  ours  is a vivarious where
one plant's breaf  is  a lunger planner's byscent and you  may  not care for
argon, it will be very convenient for me for the emolument to  pursue Burrus
and  Caseous for a rung or two up  their  isocelating biangle. Every admirer
has seen my goulache of Marge (she  is so  like the sister, you don't  know,
and  they both  dress  A  L I  K E !) which I  titled The  Very Picture of a
Needlesswoman which in  the  presence ornates our national  cruetstand. This
genre of  portraiture of changes of mind in order to  be truly torse  should
evoke the bush soul of females  so I am leaving it to the experienced victim
to complete the general suggestion by the mental addition of a wallopy bound
or, should the zulugical zealot  prefer  it, a congorool teal. The  hatboxes
which  composed  Rhomba,  lady  Trabezond  (Marge  in  her  excelsis),  also
comprised the climactogram up which B and C may fondly be imagined ascending
and are suggestive of gentlemen's spring modes, these modes carrying us back
to the  superimposed claylayers of  eocene and pleastoseen formation and the
gradual   morphological   changes  in  our  body  politic  which   Professor
Ebahi-Ahuri  of  Philadespoinis (Ill)  -- whose bluebutterbust  I  have just
given  his  coupe de  grass  to -- neatly  names a boŚte  ... surprises. The
boxes, if I may break the subject gently, are worth about fourpence  pourbox
but I am inventing a more patent process, foolproof and pryperfect (I should
like to ask that Shedlock Homes person  who is out for removing the roofs of
our criminal classics by  what deductio  ad  domunum  he hopes  de tacto  to
detect anything  unless  he happens of himself,  movibile tectu,  to have  a
slade off) after which they can be reduced to a fragment of their true crust
by  even the  youngest  of Margees if she  will take plase to  be seated and
smile if I please.
     Now there  can be no  question  about it either that I having  done  as
much,  have quite  got the size  of that  demilitery young  female  (we will
continue  to  call her Marge) whose  types  may  be  met with in any  public
garden, wearing a very "dressy" affair, known as an "ethel" of instep length
and  with a  real fur,  reduced  to 3/9,  and  muffin cap to tone  (they are
"angelskin"  this  fall),  ostentatiously  hemming  apologetically over  the
shirtness of some  "sweet" garment, when she is not sitting on all the  free
benches avidously reading about "it" but ovidently on the look out for "him"
or  so  "thrilled" about  the best dressed  dolly pram  and beautiful  elbow
competition or at the movies swallowing sobs and blowing bixed mixcuits over
"childe"  chaplain's  "latest"  or  on  the  verge  of the gutter  with some
bobbedhair brieffrocked  babyma's toddler  (the Smythe-Smythes  now keep TWO
domestics and  aspire  to  THREE male ones,  a  shover,  a  butlegger and  a
sectary) held hostage at armslength, teaching His Infant Majesty how to make
waters worse.
     (I am closely watching Master Pules, as I  have regions to suspect from
my post that her "litde man" is a secondary  schoolteacher under  the boards
of education,  a  voted disciple  of Infantulus  who is  being utilised thus
publicly  by  the  seducente  infanta  to  conceal  her  own  more  mascular
personality by flaunting frivolish finery over men's inside clothes, for the
femininny of that totamulier will always lack the musculink of a verumvirum.
My  solotions  for the proper  parturience  of matres and the  education  of
micturious mites must stand over from the moment till I tackle  this tickler
hussy for occupying my uttentions.)
     Margareena  she's very  fond of Burrus but, alick and alack! she  velly
fond  of  chee. (The important influence exercised  on  everything  by  this
eastasian  import  has  not  been  till  now fully  flavoured though  we can
comfortably taste it in this case.  I shall  come back for a little more say
farther on.)  A cleopatrician in her own right  she at once complicates  the
position  while  Burrus  and  Caseous  are contending  for  her  misstery by
implicating herself  with an elusive Antonius, a wop who would appear to hug
a  personal  interest in refined  chees of all chades at the same time as he
wags   an   antomine    art   of   being    rude   like   the   boor.   This
Antonius-Burrus-Caseous  grouptriad  may  be  said  to  equate  the   qualis
equivalent with the older socalled  talis on talis one just as quantly as in
the hyperchemical economantarchy  the tantum ergons irruminate  the  quantum
urge so that eggs  is to whey as