( )
4.
.
( . )
"", 90-
, ,
. - 90- ,
. ! ! ( ).
...
...
"" - .
. . .
?!
(. )
, , : "
?".
. . .
5.
' .
, ...
( )
- , "
". , .
.
1) , '.
2) , ( ').
, .
( )
, .
: ",
, , ,
. , !". (
,
).
. . .
, -
, !
( )
.
.
, , .
,
.
. . .
.
( )
, ,
.
, "" .
.
.
+---------+ (
| ||||| | qwerty-) - .
| |
| [ ^ ^ ] | ,
| ^ | "",
| ^/ | .
| | ||||| /////
+---sae---+
[ ] [ / / ]
^ /
/ ==/
. . .
,
, .
- ,
. , " - ",
" - ", " - ,
, , ".
.
, -.
: " , "
" ".
, ...
. . .
.
(.)
-
, , , .
.
,
.
. . .
, ,
, ________
. , !
. . .
, ,
,
- .
(.., 1722-1792)
, .
. , , .
- . -
. -
. , -
. .
. . .
6.
"", "".
( )
. . .
,
" ", ,
. ,
.
. . .
- !
( )
, ,
,
:
" ".
" - ".
", ".
-, .
. ,
. , , ,
( ).
. . .
- !
()
: " -
, ". !
. . ,
, ! " , : " ",
, : "
", " ", " " ..
. . .
2 + 2 = 4
()
. . .
- , -, ...
-$-
sae
+ Origin: Gated from Relcom by Palantiri NewsGate (2:5030/27.0)
---
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: , () (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 19 of 37 K/s
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 11 Mar 94 17:02:24
To : All 12 Mar 94 01:01:34
Subj : Zone 7 - Russia
Hello All.
I think, this message from area R50.SYSOP seems to be interesting:
--------------------------- Start Cut -------------------------
From : Kirill Lebedev, 2:5020/251 (11 Mar 94 10:56)
To : Mike Shoyher
Subj : Zone 7 - Russia
---------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Mike,
09 Mar 94 07:52, Mike Shoyher wrote to Dmitry Zavalishin:
M> , , .
M> ~1 .
%-/
7 " 7 ".
:
: ( . !) - 1.
, .
, : "
! ...". ...
, , - ,
- ...
... 5 ,
. ,
, ,
... , ... ( ,
.) , , ,
, , . ,
. 2 7 -
. 17
. .
. , .
, ... -
, , ,
. , .
, , , .
:
.
, 5-6 .
, ,
, . ,
, 6
. , , ,
, . . ,
- . ( , Homo
psyhicus :) .
... , -
Main adrress'. , , ...
:
. 2: -
. :
; ;
; ,
... , ,
. ( : ,
). , .
, !!!! !!! Main Address
7:. , ,
RS-232. , ,
... .
, :
", !"- ZyXEL , ,
, .
, !!!
, ,
... ! " , 7!" - .
!
.
With best regards,
Kirill A.Lebedev
^-^
$ MolchiGin: Swan's Lake/223:30-06:30ZyXEL (2:5020/251)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 22 of 37 K/s
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 12 Mar 94 16:19:02
To : All 12 Mar 94 19:13:26
Subj : . HUMOR.FILTERED
* Forwarded by Mikel Lavrentyev (2:5020/35.1)
* Area : netmail (*****: netmail (main))
* From : Dmitry Anisimov, 2:5020/139.18 (22 Feb 94 09:47)
* To : Mikel Lavrentyev, 5020/35.1
* Subj : HUMOR.FILTERED
, Mikel!
Subj : 4 h.f. -
V>>>> ""
V>>>> . - , -
V>>>>
SM>>
SM>> : " "
ML> 10 , -
ML> .
ML> : " ". :-)
. ,
, - ,
. - , :
: " " ( )
" , " (
, ,
)
" " ( )
, "" ( )
"", ..
: " , ."
: "
. , , !"
.
Best regards, Dmitry.
> Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Lines, And No Question Seems
> to Be Too Basic
>
> By JIM CARLTON Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
>
> AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said
> she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay
> Alblinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the
> computer was plugged in and then asked the woman what
> happened when she pushed the power button.
>
> "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
> happens," the woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician
> asked. "Yes," the woman said, "this little white foot pedal
> with the on switch."
>
> The "foot pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a
> hand-operated device that helps to control the computer's
> operations.
>
> Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a
> low-tech world out there. While they are finally having
> great success selling PCs to households, they now have to
> deal with people to whom monitors and disk drives are as
> foreign as another language.
>
> "It is rather mystifying to get this nice, beautiful machine
> and not know anything about it,'' says Ed Shuler, a
> technician who helps field consumer calls at Dell's
> headquarters here. "It's going into unfamiliar territory,"
> adds Gus Kolias, vice president of customer service and
> training for Compaq Computer Corp. "People are looking for a
> comfort level."
>
> Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from
> techies needing help on complex problems. But now, with
> computer sales to homes exploding as new "multimedia"
> functions gain mass appeal, PC makers say that as many as
> 70% of their calls come from rank novices. Partly because of
> the volume of calls, some computer companies have started
> charging help-line users.
>
> The questions are often so basic that they could have been
> answered by opening the manual that comes with every
> machine. One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how
> to install batteries in her laptop. When told that the
> directions were on the first page of the manual, says Steve
> Smith, Dell's director of technical support, the woman
> replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing,
> and I'm not going to read a book."
>
> Indeed, it seems that these buyers rarely refer to a manual
> when a phone is at hand. "If there is a book and a phone and
> they're side by side, the phone wins time after time," says
> Craig McQuilkin, manager of service marketing for AST
> Research Inc. in Irvine, Calif. "It's a phenomenon of people
> wanting to talk to people."
>
> And do they ever. Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is
> inundated with some 8,000 consumer calls a day, with
> inquiries like this one related by technician John Wolf: "A
> frustrated customer called, who said her brand new Contura
> would not work. She said she had unpacked the unit, plugged
> it in, opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for
> something to happen. When asked what happened when she
> pressed the power switch, she asked, 'What power switch?' "
>
> Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users. So
> many people have called to ask where the "any" key is when
> "Press Any Key" flashes on the screen that Compaq is
> considering changing the command to "Press Return Key."
>
> Some people can't figure out the mouse. Tamra Engle, an AST
> technical support supervisor, says one customer complained
> that her mouse was hard to control with the "dust cover" on.
> The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was
> packaged in. Dell technician Wayne Zieschang says one of his
> customers held the mouse and pointed it at the screen, all
> the while clicking madly. The customer got no response
> because the mouse works only if it's moved over a flat
> surface.
>
> Disk drives are another bugaboo. Compaq technician Brent
> Sullivan says a customer was having trouble reading
> wordprocessing files from his old diskettes. After
> troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
> problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with
> the diskette. The customer's response: ''I put a label on
> the diskette, roll it into the typewriter...."
>
> At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a
> technician's request that she send in a copy of a defective
> floppy disk. A letter from the customer arrived a few days
> later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy. And at Dell, a
> technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy
> back in the drive and "close the door." Asking the
> technician to "hold on," the customer put the phone down and
> was heard walking over to shut the door to his room. The
> technician meant the door to his floppy drive.
>
> The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling.
> A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
> to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the
> technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of
> paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and
> hitting the "send" key.
>
> Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program,
> so Dell technician Gary Rock referred him to the local
> Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer
> replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man
> said, "Oh! I thought you meant for me to find a couple of
> geeks."
>
> Not realizing how fragile computers can be, some people end
> up damaging parts beyond repair. A Dell customer called to
> complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned
> it, he said, filling up his tub with soap and water and
> soaking the keyboard for a day, and then removing all the
> keys and washing them individually.
>
> Computers make some people paranoid. A Dell technician,
> Morgan Vergara, says he once calmed a man who became enraged
> because "his computer had told him he was bad and an
> invalid." Mr. Vergara patiently explained that the
> computer's "bad command'' and ''invalid" responses shouldn't
> be taken personally.
>
> These days PC-help technicians increasingly find themselves
> taking on the role of amateur psychologists. Mr. Shuler, the
> Dell technician, who once worked as a psychiatric nurse,
> says he defused a potential domestic fight by soothingly
> talking a man through a computer problem after the man had
> screamed threats at his wife and children in the background.
>
> There are also the lonely hearts who seek out human contact,
> even if it happens to be a computer techie. One man from New
> Hampshire calls Dell every time he experiences a life
> crisis. He gets a technician to walk him through some
> contrived problem with his computer, apparently feeling
> uplifted by the process.
>
> "A lot of people want reassurance," says Mr. Shuler.
>
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 29 of 37 K/s
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 14 Mar 94 00:46:00
To : All 14 Mar 94 07:08:02
Subj : Universal Disclaimer
* Forwarded by Mikel Lavrentyev (2:5020/35.1)
* Area : netmail (*****: netmail (main))
* From : Harry Bush, 2:51/2 (13 Mar 94 18:41)
* To : Mikel Lavrentyev, 5020/35.1
* Subj : Universal Disclaimer
* Originally to 2:5020/35
Hello Mikel!
For Humor.Filtered if you like it :-)
Best wishes, Harry
Sunday March 13 1994 17:10
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
UNIVERSAL DISCLAIMER
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to
real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where
prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank
number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment.
Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not
use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be
paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to
sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age.
If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable
parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to
change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage
necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes
acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size
fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substaintial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the
forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use
only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox.
Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will
not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not
responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At
participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use.
See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do
not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid
contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is
properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher
west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not
eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some
questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure
prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for
this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped
in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only
in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with
same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here
if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not
include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No
solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two
alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before
digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned
in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record
additional transactions on back of previous stub.
This supersedes all previous notices.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-+- GoldEd/2 2.42.G0214+ BT-2.50EE E3-32 OS/2
+ Origin: Harry Bush (Team OS/2) Harry@castle.riga.lv (2:51/2)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: , () (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 31 of 37 K/s
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 14 Mar 94 18:52:46
To : All 15 Mar 94 00:44:16
Subj : . !
Hello All.
I think, this message from area REL.HUMOR seems to be interesting:
--------------------------- Start Cut -------------------------
From : pui@pc03.zgik.zaporizhzhe.ua, 2:5020/128 (13 Mar 94 17:49)
To : All
Subj : !
---------------------------------------------------------------
X-RealName: Pshenichniy Yura
-- , , ,
.
[ Article crossposted from relcom.comp.sources.d ]
[ Author was Vadim V. Vlasov ]
[ Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 94 15:06:47 +0300 ]
Hi!
, :-(
Leo A.Dmitriev (leo@aros.kaluga.su) wrote:
> ..
> ( )
>
> Copyright (c) 1994, .
> All rights reserved.
>
[skip]
> 26 . ,
> - , , .
, " ".
[skip]
>
> : " - " ( : "
> - "), .. , ,
> , .
: " !"
-
( - , - , ).
------
:
, ,
,
.
, .
------
, , "" ,
.
, ,
: "paging" = " ".
:
"1" "0" (/, ; " " -
" " )
- "1" "0" Shift (
"") Alt ( ", ").
( ).
, , . ,
(
), (
, - ),
, !
> - !
> - !
, , . , , .....
! "Intel' inside" MicroSoft' - XXI !
.
Disclaimer: , .
Copyright: , .
License: - 10. 100.,
.
10000.,
.
. .. ... ..
4 ( 38-
).
16-20 ( )
16:20.
.
- .
:
;
alpha- ;
- ;
;
;
- ;
alpha-;
;
Last-modified: Mon, 06 Oct 1997 07:15:48 GMT